I am Rose. Sort of.
Rose Ajar is my pen name.
I live in New York, I'm a mother of two, a working woman, a divorcee, and the author of Who Ate the Avocados?
I started writing about divorce because somewhere between the lawyers, the logistics and the genuinely painful parts, I noticed something else.
Divorce can get completely ridiculous.
People who once built a life together can suddenly find themselves keeping track of groceries, dividing furniture and developing very strong feelings about toilet paper. I thought that part deserved to be written down too.
Not because divorce made me happy.
Because I'm happy now.
Divorce is something that happened to me. I don't want it to be the most interesting thing about me, and I don't think women should have to spend the rest of their lives being defined by what ended.
I'm much more interested in what comes next. Independence. Raising children across two homes. Dating again. Making your own decisions. Building a life that belongs to you.
And being able to look back at something that once made you furious and think: did we actually fight about that?
The Happy Divorcee
Independance
changes everything
There's one part of starting again that I don't find particularly funny: money.
I believe financial independence matters enormously for women. Being able to understand your finances, support yourself and make your own choices changes the conversation about staying, leaving and what comes afterward.
Freedom isn't only emotional. Sometimes it's very practical.
Having your own bank account matters too.
The serious bit
And what's with
the wig?
I write under a pen name, and I wanted to keep my private life private.
So: blonde wig, sunglasses, red lipstick. What started as a very practical disguise somehow became the Rose uniform.
And frankly, if you're going to talk about divorce, missing avocados and stolen olive oil on Instagram, you might as well dress for the occasion.
A reasonable question
Things I can't seem to stop talking about
Beyond the Book
Financial independence
Why having choices matters, particularly when you're contemplating a major change in your life.
Permission to laugh
Not pretending divorce doesn't hurt. Being able, eventually, to laugh at some of the things that happened while it did.
The absurd side of divorce
The tiny battles and bizarre behavior that make you wonder whether perfectly rational adults have temporarily lost their minds.
Life after divorce
Co-parenting, single motherhood, dating again, freedom and figuring out who you are when you're no longer part of a couple.
Somewhere along the way,
I wrote a book.
Who Ate the Avocados? follows Jane and John, a divorcing couple who have to continue living together with their two children for six months before their court hearing.
There are missing avocados, divided furniture, grocery investigations, an adult high chair and considerably more discussion of toilet paper than anyone would consider reasonable.
Underneath all of that is something I care about very much: what happens when a woman decides to move forward.
Who Ate the Avocados?
Stay in Rose's world
Divorce, independence, single-mom life, dating again and the occasional household item that has become far too emotional.